Pairings/Characters: Santana/Mercedes, implied Quinn/Mercedes, Puck/Mercedes and Santana/Puck
Warnings: None, really, unless I have to warn for girls kissing
Word count: 1,422
Disclaimer: This Glee fanfiction is based upon the television show of the same name. All characters and situations other than my own are sole property of Ryan Murphy Productions and 20th Century Fox Television.
Summary: Nothing to do when you're locked in a vacancy, unless you're locked in with Santana.
A/N: Well this was FUN to write, and I hope anonymous recipient really enjoys it. To my girl B, and also to A (even though you didn't do much but be all cool), you ladies are the best and the reason all this comes out so nicely. KUDOS. Also, Happy/Merry whatever to everyone else.
*Attention passengers. Cleveland Hopkins International Airport would like to thank you for your continued patience as we work to ensure you reach your destination. Please be advised once again that all roads to and from the airport are closed. Airport staff are working hard to make sure everyone is safe and comfortable. All services will continue to be open for business to better serve your needs. Again, we thank you for your continued patience during this situation.*
"This is bullshit!"
"Yeah, you haven't said that before at all."
"Oh, shut up, Miss Mercedes. Your sarcasm is totally unwelcome here."
"Hey, you were the one who came and sat with me."
"That's because my parents are killing me. God, I should be in Cancun right now, getting some random hottie time on the beach."
"It's 11PM, Santana, even in Cancun."
"So? Have you ever been to Cancun? Nothing shuts down this early."
"Hello? Talking here."
"God, how many times have you read that Us Weekly anyway? It's not like Brad Pitt gets any hotter if you reread."
"Um, excuse you, this is the Ryan Reynolds issue, and it's not like I have anything better to do, since you don't need me or my sarcasm."
"Oh, ha ha. You're so funny."
"God, this sucks. I'm going to get a soda."
*Attention passengers. Would Julia Thorne and Peter Gallow please come to the Continental Airlines desk? Again, would Julia Thorne and Peter Gallow please come to the Continental Airlines desk? Thank you.*
"Okay, I'm bored enough to chat now."
"Oh god, is that a wrinkle? The trauma of being trapped is giving me wrinkles!"
"We've only been here a few hours, you're fine. Calm down."
"Calm down? It's Christmas Eve. I am supposed to be in Cancun getting wasted on the beach with hot guys and avoiding my parents. But no, I'm fucking snowbound in Cleveland with a thousand other smelly stupid people and going out of my fucking mind. I'm not going to get anywhere near calm!"
"And if keep yelling like that, you're just going to end up with more wrinkles."
"How are you taking this so well? Weren't you supposed to be somewhere?"
"Yeah, we were going to see my grandma, in Seattle."
"And...aren't you upset? Missing out on, I don't know, whatever it is black people do at Christmas?"
"Whatever black people do? What, do you think we sacrifice babies and kittens? We do the same thing everyone does: Christmas tree, presents, big dinner, etc, etc."
"Okay, so sorry for being offensive, princess. So aren't you upset about not being there for that?"
"Eh, it's cool."
"You are so lying. No one would want to be stuck here over family time."
"I didn't say I'd rather be stuck here, just not...there."
"Yeah, like I'm going to tell you."
"Oh, come on. Like you have anything better to do. Spill."
*Attention passengers. We thank you for your continued patience as we work to ensure you reach your destination. We are happy to inform you that as a holiday treat, the Dunkin' Donuts in the Main Terminal is offering coffee, cider and pastries at no charge. Once again, we thank you for your patience through this matter.*
"You sure you didn't want anything?"
"God, no, if I ate anything more I'd explode. Also Dunkin' Donuts is gross."
"Hmm. Truth or Dare?"
"Well, you come up with something better."
"What's wrong with trying to get some sleep?"
"Oh, come on, Mercedes!"
"Okay, tell me something then..."
"Ah ah ah, I'll only tell you if I choose Truth."
"Fine. Truth or Dare?"
"I asked first! So you pick, and then we'll see."
"How far did you get with Puck when you 'dated' him last year?"
"Oh, as if it'll be too racy for me."
"I am not talking about this with you."
"Why? It's not like I'm gonna tell anyone."
"Yeah, right. You'd spread it around like syphilis."
"Santana, I am not talking to you about Puck."
"Jesus, you're a prude."
"So? What's wrong with that?"
"Well, you have to answer the question if you pick Truth."
"Maybe, but I'm not answering that."
"God, fine. Okay then, why don't you want to go to Seattle?"
"Who said I don't want to go to Seattle?"
"Um, you, earlier. You were all like, 'It's cool,' except you were so lying about that, so, either answer this one, or give me the sordid details about Puck."
"Tick tock, tick tock."
"Alright! I don't want to go to my grandma's because...because she thinks I'm gay."
"Look, I really don't want to talk about this-"
"Okay, hold up, what? You can't just drop a bomb like that and expect me to let it go. What's the deal?"
"It's so dumb, and I don't want to talk about it, okay?"
"No, seriously, you have to tell me now."
"Well...she came to visit last spring. You know, when Quinn was staying with me?"
"So she...got ideas from that."
"Were you guys making out on the couch right in front of her or something?"
"Well, not making out..."
"Oh. My. God."
"Look, you cannot tell anyone any of this."
"You're kidding me, right? This is quite possibly some of the juiciest gossip in a lifetime."
"I thought you and Quinn were friends."
"Oh puh-lease. We haven't been 'friends' since the whole Puck incident."
"Yeah, I think she's over that."
"Oh, yeah, she has sweet innocent boring Sammy now. Honestly, I am so glad I didn't bother trying to hit that. But that doesn't mean she's all over the Puckster."
"Okay then, I thought you and I were friends."
"And where would you get an idea like that?"
"Come on, Santana. You try to hate me, but deep down, you know I'm the only girl in school who's more awesome than you."
"I don't even know where to start with how wrong you are. So you and Quinn, huh?"
"It wasn't like that, okay? We're friends. She was messed up. I was comforting her, and my grandma got the wrong idea."
"That must have been some comforting if grandma's calling you a lesbo."
"Look, even if it was, it's not like anything's gonna come from it, right? So just...leave it."
"Oh god. You like her, don't you?"
"No, you're like, in love with her. Oh my god."
"No, hey, don't leave. I mean, it's not that strange. She is kinda cute, in that perfect china doll kind of way..."
"Oh my god, I am not talking with you about this."
"And her boobs totally filled out with baby juice. I mean, I was jealous before, but there is a reason I got the girls enhanced..."
"Seriously, I'm not going to condemn you or anything, okay?"
"It would be a little hypocritical of you."
"Look, you're gonna drop it, right? Be decent for at least once in your life?"
"*Sigh*, fine. And it's your turn."
"For Truth or Dare, duh."
"Okay then, Truth or Dare?"
"No wait, let's do this somewhere else. Come on."
*Attention passengers. We thank you for your continued patience with us as we work to ensure you reach your destination. We are also pleased to announce that the storm outside has stopped and snowplows have been sent to clear the roads to and from Cleveland-Hopkins airport. We will continue to keep you appraised of their progress. Again, thank you for your patience and Happy Holidays.*
"Wait, whoa, okay."
"You kissed me."
"Uh huh, and...?"
"Santana. You. Kissed. Me. In the ladies room of the Cleveland airport"
"I'll have to admit, I'm a little surprised, 'cause that was decent. Better than decent."
"'Kay, I'm lost."
"What? Like you said, you're the only girl in school who's as awesome as I am..."
"More awesome, I think I said."
"...plus all that 'you and Quinn' talk got me all hot and kissy."
"Oh, so I'm just a convenient pair of lips. That makes me feel special."
"Oh don't get bitchy, you were enjoying it."
"Girl, you are so crazy."
"Yeah, but I'm more fun that way. So let's keep going. Your technique is okay, for a beginner, but with practice, I think you're trainable."
"Oh, I've had practice."
"I know. You think I can't tell a Puck kiss when I get one?"